So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize