I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
