So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
