You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
