Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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