Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
