No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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