The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
