i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
