is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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