I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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