we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There are leaves in my underwear?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize