Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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