i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize