its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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