I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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