Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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