her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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