The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
