Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
