i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
