so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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