There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
