I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
