And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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