physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
