Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
