nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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