My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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