great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
