Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
