life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
