i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
