That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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