hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He better not be in your backpack
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize