Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
