Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
