we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
