my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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