Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
