So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
