idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize