Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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