Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
