How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
