do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am available for nakedness
Randomize