if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
