They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
