Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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