Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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