I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
