weddingsv make me drug and hornr
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
