just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
