Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
