you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
