He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
