I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
