found the other keg... it's in the tree
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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