No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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