My pussy is not your playground.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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